Dec. 29, 2012 – This week in social media: Randi Zuckerberg throws a fit

Who can deny that it’s just more fun to shame, embarrass or make someone feel like s— when you have an audience. The larger the audience, the more dramatic the accuser becomes. We learn this fun skill of “making a scene” at a young age and perfect it as an adult. Look how a child’s lung capacity explodes when he’s at the mall; he was so fun a minute ago, in the car. Then look at that table in the restaurant, the one in the corner, where the girl/woman sitting across from her boyfriend/husband/father has a semi-constipated and tortured expression on her face, about to cry. Now look at her crying. She’s telling him what a horrible jerk he is in a very loud whisper/whimper. The restaurant is bistro-sized, so, once they (and you) are done with dinner and out on the street, see that she starts wailing.

Thanks to Facebook and Twitter, the world can be our audience. We have the luxury to unleash our shaming skills and punish our victims with the touch of a button now. Or just a touch, on a touchscreen… Best yet, we can shame anyone! Anything! Any company, LLC, or government… Why, we don’t have to call out specifics at all! We can decry ALL of the “them’s” that have wronged us. ALL of those and that and who: “can’t drive on Route 1”; “can’t spell JENNIE right on my coffee cup”; “raise the price on birth control?!”; “have the most [deplorable] customer service”; “offer the most shady service”; or “post a friend’s photo publicly.

That last lecturing wail was from Mark’s sister, Randi Zuckerberg, who this week showed us how to use social media to properly make a scene when sticking and twisting in the knife.

When she learned that a photo of her and her family reacting to a new Facebook app was posted to Twitter by Callie Schweitzer, Randi apparently screamed: “Mah photo is MAYAN! Don’t anyone dare use it without MAH permission!” in her best Honey Boo-Boo voice. Unfortunately for Randi, the photo had appeared on Schweitzer’s Newfeed because Schweitzer is Facebook friends with another Zuckerberg sister. Schweitzer probably used the photo because as a journalist, she’s resourceful and found the photo meaningful. However, Schweitzer, a Forbes “Top 30 under 30” social media maven, probably should have known better, given her reputation, experience and relationship with that other Zuckerberg.

Schweitzer apologized the same way she was called out (via Twitter) to Randi and things seem to be all cleared up now…but not before Randi taught us all a valuable lesson.

Digital etiquette: Don’t confront your peeves like an adult when you can just Tweet them to the whole damn world. What else is a Verified Twitter account good for!

Let’s review what we’ve really learned from all of this drama:

  1. Randi agrees with all the other Facebook/Instagram haters this week, even though “share” is a word we learned as toddlers, meaning something no longer belongs to us if we “share” it — DUH.
  2. Randi Zuckerberg hates her brother’s confusing privacy settings as much as everyone else
  3. Randi Zuckerberg has taught only Callie Schweitzer an important lesson
  4. Nothing is private if you put it on the internet

For some reason, I feel like no one ever learns this last lesson. I guess I should repeat it every week from now on. Seriously, people. (I’m looking at you — girl who puts up nude photos of herself on a photo sharing site.)


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