Timeline of my life…in t-1 day

25 hours left until Facebook forces me into timeline. Feels like non-consensual exposure of me in a glass case.  
Why have I been holding out?


Timeline condenses and reveals too much at the same time. It emphasizes the “Facebookness” of social interaction too much. It’s less about whatever real interaction you were trying to have on FB and more about what they think you should focus on.


Most users, including myself, never use FB with the intention that the site would chronicle an entire life.  Maybe for new users who never knew life without Timeline, this isn’t an issue, but for me as an 8-year user, FB is meant for sharing a moment, in the moment, at the moment. I am not comfortable having past relationships and activities so readily accessible. I prefer leaving my past in my private memories. I would prefer it if they launched Timeline with privacy settings so that users could choose which years/months/activities to hide.


We all change over time and what was relevant a few years ago is irrelevant now. New friends come into our lives and have no context to the person we were in 2004. Why should they have access to all of us all at once, and be left to their own opinions and back stories on us? If Timeline were a private online diary, it would be a much more powerful feature and I would love it.
Timeline layout blows


On top of all this, I hate the layout. When I look at Timeline profiles I feel like I need two monitors – one for left hand side stories, one for right hand side.  It would also look better if the stupid line down the middle was thicker and the dots were any other color but white. 
Posts are jumbled, hard to read, and chronology is hard to discern- it’s like reading conversation bubbles in a conversation bubble-only comic strip. The new background image and reduced profile picture header makes the site look like a cheap WordPress/tumblr, emphasizing more on the person as a brand/company than a person. This is especially true with the white font they use in the small pictures of “friends”. The profile becomes too constructed and institutional.


Mandatory adoption


Mark should notify users well in advance of when they’ll force us into Timeline.  I got one week’s notice – last week. It was one of the worst days of my life because now I can’t even access my old profile layout at all. My view is the preview — the version that will go live on August 22. F— that. They should grandfather long-time users (loyalty!) and allow us to opt out.  We’ll stand out that way- it’ll be a badge of pride. We’ll be a relic, vintage. I am an old fashioned gal!


Usage changes post adoption


I am on Facebook at least twice an hour each day on my phone. At the height of my addiction, I was on at least four times an hour. My finger was glued to the refresh button. I have thought about protesting and deactivating  until I get over it. I may even create a completely new profile with new name and friends (and a new life!). If stupid yuppies are creating Facebook accounts for their DOGS (ahem, MARK. And you wonder why over 83 million Facebook accounts are fake!?) then I can have two Facebook accounts like I have two LinkedIn accounts.


No choice in the matter. Mark Zuckerberg is not an American.


At this point, the other option I have is pulling an all nighter tomorrow and digitally culling through the past 8 years of my social media life. Or I guess I could call out of work.